The honeymoon has come to its delightful conclusion and its time for the lovebirds to fly home and settle down together in their new nest. This also means that it’s time they put their feathered heads together and designed themselves a living space built for two! Back when they were dating it was fine to trade off on whose apartment they spent the night in, and cram into a double bed together, after all being close was the whole point, right? Well, that was fine then, but now it’s time to put their permanent arrangements in place and create a home they can both live happily after in! Speaking of beds, let’s start there!
The Bed – While it was good romantic fun to be squeezed into that little bed together, over time that is going to lead to sore necks and lack of proper sleep. You need something big enough for the two of you to stretch out in, and that something is a queen-sized bed fitted with queen bed sheets and plenty of plump pillows to go around! Having some extra space is nice when you want it, and don’t worry, a queen-sized bed isn’t so vast a place that you won’t be able to find each other in it, just agree to meet in the middle!
The Furnishings – The old song goes “A little bit me, a little bit you” and that’s a fair assessment of how you should go about furnishing the new nest. Staying in the bedroom for a minute, you really need to have “his and her” dressers. No matter how deep your love for each other may be, it’s just a plain fact that he does not want to dig through her panty collection to find his tighty whities and she does not want to have to search through his permanently dirt-stained sports socks to locate her dainty little sockettes. There is very much such a thing as too much togetherness and this is one of those times.
Regarding the rest of the house, you are probably just going to have to agree to disagree on some things, he will let her keep that ridiculous pink frilly-shaded end table light as long as she allows him to retain his ugly brown Naugahyde upholstered TV-watching comfy chair. Do yourselves a favour and go shopping for a nice sofa you can both agree on, a big comfy one you can lounge on together. Don’t buy a love seat, they are far too small to make the name “love seat” make any sense.
The Toilet – This is important. He says “seat up!” while she says “seat down!” It’s an old conundrum, with both sexes having legitimate physical reasons for wanting their preferred position to be in place when they stumble in there in the middle of the night to heed nature’s nocturnal call. The answer? Seat down! Sorry fellas, but if you ever want to sleep in that nice queen-sized bed again you will agree to her wishes and religiously keep the seat down. Otherwise, you had better hope your ugly brown comfy chair is a recliner.
Enjoy it all now before you have kids!
